Union News, Broome County, New York, October 17, 1861
Camp Dickinson, Alexandria, Va., Oct. 8th, 1861
Mr. Benedict: I have been to visit the oldest city but one in Virginia! Last Monday, "Reuben" and I, by a singular streak of fortune, got a pass. "Reuben" is my roommate and a good fellow is "Reuben." Well Reuben and I, after a walk of ten miles (or less) entered the city of Alexandria, said city, situated on the Western bank of the Potomac, and which according to History, in 1795, "posseseth ye large population of 5,190 souls." I was astonished at the grandeur of the architecture displayed in the most ancient of the buildings, and it was as much as I was able to do to persuade myself that I was not in Corinth or Rome itself. Here was a large mausoleum, high in its proportions which I judged, could be nothing more nor less than an amphitheater. I felt perfectly sure it was so, and concluded I would ask the permission of a grand looking functionary at the door the privilege of entering. Did so, and was informed there were plenty of negros there without me. Such language astonished me, and I tried to reason him into the belief that "all men were created equal," and that according to Hoyle, or somebody else, I had as much right to enter as the King of Greece himself! Man in doorway laughed, and wanted to know if I had the "dockiment." Couldn't for the life of me tell what he meant, and so answered in the negative. Man in doorway said something about "fixing mo" and bawled out "Sergeant of the Guard, No. 1." Remembered to have heard such a cry as that between guards at Camp, and concluded I had better be somewhere else. Poked "Reuben" in the ribs and suggested the idea of buying some candy at a stand near by. Man in doorway aimed gun at me, and told me to halt. Sergeant of the Guard came up, and wanted to know what was up! Told him I wished to explore ancient architecture, and man in doorway had objected. S. of G. seemed puzzled at first, and then wanted to know if I had a pass? Showed him that and he told us to pass on. Asked him what building that was, and was told it was the "slave pen," where they kept disobedient soldiers. Felt cheap and wished I'd never come to war.
Downtown saw a building like unto the other, full of men. Asked Guard if that wasn't a slave pen too? Guard looked savage, and told me it was the Marshall House. Had heard of the place before, and was afraid perhaps Jackson's or Ellsworth's ghost might show itself. (P.S. My great-great-grandfather said he seen a ghost once, and I guess the disease "rune in the family.") Saw a lot of folks in the second story window of a big house, and thought I'd go up there and see what was up, did so, and was told I was in Green's Daguerrean Rooms. Had heard of that place, and told Green he might take me, provided he did not take me to the slave pen. Green, put my head against a "thing.", and told me to look without winking Tried the operation; but not liking it rubbed my eyes. Green took a box from a box (I had been looking at the biggest box) and went into a dark room. Presently returned with the satisfactory information, that I had copied on plate seven heads and thirteen hands. Thought he was joking, but said nothing. Green set me in a chair, and told me to look again, and not move. Tried it without winking, but couldn't make out and Green showed me plate no. 2 and asked opinion of it. Told him it looked some like a Baboon I had seen in a caravan tent up in York State. Green laughed, and told me it was myself. Wanted to hit him; but didn't dare to 'cause I saw he had a powerful big fist. After trial No. 6, Green got mad, and said something about losing money. Didn't know but what somebody had picked his pocket, and ventured to ask him if it wasn't so. Green threatened to kick me if I didn't leave, and as I didn't want him to exert himself, I left. Told "Reuben" Alexandria was a "mighty fine place," and I intended marrying here after war was over. Next went to some other place, and told old lady to get me something to eat. Old lady was tickled, and fried me one egg, and a piece of ham. Swallowed 'em in double quick and asked old lady how much I owed her, Was told, after much calculating on her part, that I was a debtor for the sum of 25 cents. Hunted in pocket book and found two ten cent pieces, and 3 pennies. Asked old lady if that wouldn't do and told her I hadn't another cent. Old lady got madder than Green, the Daguerrean, and threatened to hand me over to the guard. Begged her on my knees not to do so cruel a thing and she let me go. Found "Reuben" in Green's Daguerrean Room, and, as I felt sick, told him I wanted to go home. He consented to go with me and after being striped by every guard on our way, we reached camp. Haven't got over being sick yet and as long as we stay in the vicinity of Alexandria don't intend to. Bull Run is preferable to going a sight seeing in Alexandra. I might talk of other hair breath escapes that happened to me while there if I chose, but I don't chose. Love to everybody but Daguerreians and old women.
Zeke Slow
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